One of the most exciting things about Resurrection Day - Easter - is the reminder of new life. 

New life in Christ... fresh starts... bright beginnings...

One area of my life that needs a fresh start is in the area of health and wholeness. I'm basically pretty healthy except for one thing: I'm obese. My weight is affecting my quality of life. Being in my late 40's I recognize that I need to get control of this for many reasons: my own health, my future with my husband and my future with my children. My present and future call...

So I will be posting about my journey into health and wholeness in the "as a matter of faith" section of this site. If you are interested you can follow this part of my journey there.

Of course, what I'd really like to write about it how other people should get over themselves, but changing them is probably not within my sphere of influence.

You know who they are...

• the ones who won't read a blog created in blogger...
• the ones who live in public roles but limit their sphere of interaction to a comfortable few...
• the ones who...

Oops - wasn't going to write about them...

In all honesty - "they" are "me" too. 

I'm like them...

• I have strong opinions and don't mind sharing.
  
• due to my current 'in transition' status as a student (never mind that I co-pastored a church in another denomination for about eight years) I often find myself 'feeling' behind or cast aside (pretty sure this is my baggage and has nothing to do with what others are intentionally "doing")
  
• while my first inclination is not to take a passive-aggressive stance, it is incredibly easy for me to slip into that mode when I feel overlooked or slighted.
  

When you are (or have usually been) "one of the cool kids" (or at least one of those who floats around the edges of that category) you tend to live in a bubble - letting people come to you instead of going to people. I'm guilty of it. 

How many times have I been the one sitting while others seek me out for information or conversation or advice. Many. 

How many times do I actively move through a space, engaging people (not just friends) and checking in on folks who don't get checked in on much. Not so often. 

I'm not talking about networking. I'm talking about engaging with people about their lives for their sake.

It's easy to be the one people seek.

It's not so easy being the one who seeks people.

So today I'm getting over myself. I'm going to actively seek people and not wait for people to find me. I'm going to be present in my own life and in the lives of those around me. I am going to reject the bubble. I'm going to remember that not everyone who asks a question wants an answer. I'm going to remember that a critique of another's work (even when invited) is often going to be 'cause' for being ignored. I'm going to remember that even when I take the time to engage with others - they will not always respond. I'm going to remember that those people who drive me crazy with their inconsistent attention or disregard probably have no idea that I perceive them that way. And I'm going to interact on my own terms - generous terms at that.

So if you notice that I'm sitting around waiting for others to come my way - kindly pull the chair out from under me.

There are three personal traits that I believe are important to embrace on life's journey: authenticity, transparency and availability.

• Authenticity is related to being genuine - what you see is what you get.
  
• Transparency is related to being open and clear - something through which light can shine.
• Availability is related to being accessible - being both easy to find and quick to respond.

I don't do any of these perfectly - or even well. I'm, at best, as real as I know how to be and more translucent than transparent. I am available - twenty-four/seven available - and have yet to have anyone take advantage of my availability in a negative way.

Today I was blessed to be a part of two encounters that I believe were a direct result of my pursuit of these qualities. The first was a phone call - from someone who rarely calls. It shifted mid conversation from that person's frustration to that person affirming me and the ministry God has graciously called me to live. The second was a private message on a social networking site. This person asked my opinion about something they'd experienced because they've known me a long time, know I'm involved in ministry and they trust me.

Sometimes I get the feeling that people in general, and ministers in particular, have become so protective of 'their' time that encounters like those above don't happen very often.

That's too bad. If I hadn't been relatively authentic, at least translucent and definitely available, I'd have missed out on the opportunity to speak love into the lives of those two people and would have missed some poignant affirmations of my call.

I'm thinking that continuing to pursue authenticity, transparency, and availability is worth it.

Just me,

MB

A friend (@reallish) tweeted: "High expectations, low serenity."

She made me think (and so early...)

It's a true statement but it's a conundrum as well. I replied "so, so true! But so hard to overcome since the converse isn't true." And later added "and realistic expectations are so hard to discern."

So the challenge, it seems, may lie in having realistically high expectations of oneself and realistically neutral expectations of most others. (Realizing that it's healthy to have reasonably high expectations of those with whom one is in relationship: husband, children, colleagues, etc.) 

Thinking it's also sometimes healthy to shift expectations to low in relationship to unhealthy, but unavoidable, people - you know, those people you have to deal with by virtue of family, work, etc. It isn't good to live in a state of constant disappointment - better to adjust what is expected if a different outcome is unlikely.

Just a few of my thousand or so thoughts,

MB